Five Things to Remember When Living a Joyless Life

1. Stop watching epiphany-sparking movies that make you think that you’ll live your life differently from then on. You’ll only be that much more depressed when you realize later that nothing has changed.

2. Fantasize. About everything. A lot.

3. Try to take your mind off things by developing new obsessions or fruitless hobbies. Pick up a new tv show, or nearly finish knitting several scarves.

4. Perform experiments in sleep deprivation. That, at least, is an actual reason for the numbness.

5. Fill the void with orgasms.

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